May 3

I got my first T shot today. My package from Strohecker's came in, filled to the brim with syringes, needles, and alcohol swabs; trying to re-tetris the box failed miserably. Cost me $10 to get it done, plus I have to make an appointment for the 14th so I can learn how to self-inject. I was hoping I would have been taught at my first appointment or even at the injection today. Whatever, at least I'm finally on hormones like I've been wanting to be. The shot was much, much less painful than I was expecting and I knew my fears were stupid; the burning sensation of the medication going in hurt worse than the initial stab.

Before I went in to get my shot done, though, I told my dad I was off to the clinic because it's polite to tell people you're disappearing for a few hours. His response was expected, but disheartening: "You still have time to change your mind!" No. I've changed my mind too many times before about transitioning at all and I've been looking forward to this day for years. I just said "Nope!" in the cheeriest voice I could and got into the car.

After the adventure (the street the clinic is on is under heavy construction and the detour is hell to deal with), as a treat, G (my boyfriend/partner/whatever) and I went to get Blizzards from Dairy Queen. Celebratory ice cream is never not awesome. I recommend the confetti cake flavor, btw.

Now I get to wait and see what changes come my way. I'm excited, but also filled with a sense of dread; it doesn't make any sense, but it's there.